The news used to be about current events, politics, world affairs, disasters and such, but things are changing. A naked man was found masturbating on a nature trail in California, and when the police arrested him for indecent exposure they asked the standard question: "Are you hiding any concealed weapons?" Well the dude, 33-year-old John Sheehan of Pittsburg, who only recently had been released from prison was naked, so where could he hide a weapon. Turns out the ass is a good place to hide an awl!

Kinky John is now awaiting trial in the county jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon. You just can't make up shit like that!