After searching in vain since the dawn of time scientists have finally located the clitoris, and it's not where you thought it was. Believe it or not, it's right smack in the middle of sub-saharan Africa, in some of the thickest, hottest, wettest, most dangerous and inaccessible jungles on earth (well, we knew that).

Our thanks go the the intrepid explorers who risked life and limb in their pursuit and discovery that surely will benefit men all over the world. "Dr Livingstone, I presume?" doesn't even come close to this!