PRESS RELEASE: 

Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use “as is”, or as a mixer. Pepsi’s proposed ad campaign claims: “It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.”

Obviously we can no longer call this a “soft drink” a spokesman said.

This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned stiff drink.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of “Mount And Do.”

I’m gonna get me some of that shit! (Not that I need it.)