I watch porn movies for a living. When you do that you start noticing things. Like for instance some chicks have brown puckerholes while others have nice pink ones.

I thought maybe with all that shit passing through there’s bound to be some discoloration. But lately I’ve seen so many pinkie winkies I started to smell a rat. It turns out these porn actresses actually bleach their assholes. That probably shouldn’t come as a surprize to me, doing what I do for a living, but I was still a little blown away. Wouldn’t it hurt to have bleach applied to your bunghole? If you’ve ever had a hot chili pepper shoved up your rectum you know what I’m talking about!

Anyway, ass bleaching, as well as pussy bleaching, is the latest rage among the hip and trendy and several beauty salons are specializing in the treatment. You can read an article about it here. A full wax and bleach of your inner cheeks is surprizingly affordable, only about 75 bucks.

Nothing makes my groin itch like a chick with a really hot ass in a skirt that really isn’t meant to cover anything. Barbara from Big Ass Adventure is just a girl like that; you know the kind your mother warned you against. Check out her free video sample and please excuse me while I go “scratch” my itch!

At 46 Maria Olivia Aguirre-Castillo felt the years creeping up on her and her buttocks sagging. That’s when she decided that a little DIY cosmetic surgery in the gluteal area was a good idea. She enlisted the help of a friend and set forth in her persuit of a fuller, firmer butt. Not a good choice.

Monterey County Sheriff’s Department detectives say Aguirre-Castillo was injected multiple times into the folds of skin where the top of each thigh meets the buttocks with a syringe filled with some kind of filler, leaving multiple half-inch red bruises on her butt.

Long story short her internal organs were poisoned and Maria died. The moral of the story? I’m not sure there is one, but please don’t ry this at home unless you’re a trained professional.

Is it an airplane? No, but you could probably land a Piper Cub on it. Is it JayLo? She wishes! It’s Luscious (what a name!) from 40 Inch Plus!!! Luscious is one of the hottest ass babes at 40 Inch Plus, and that says a lot! They won’t even let a girl inside the doors unless she passes the measuring tape test first. And once they’re in there’s of course a lot of sucking and fucking.

A man was shot in the buttocks following an altercation outside a strip joint in Sidney, Australia.

The 21-year-old had left the Men’s Gallery on Pitt Street about 1am and became involved in an argument with a group of men standing outside. He was shot once in the buttocks at close range before the gunman fled, police said this morning. The bleeding man then ran back inside the Men’s Gallery, where he hid while friends went outside to hail a taxi.

Rumour has it that the fleeing man bore a striking resemblance to VP Dick Cheney. Witnesses report he was incomprehensibly babbling something about quails. The Secret Service did not respond to Plumper Buttock’s request for a statement.

Asshole Fever is all about, you guessed it, feverish asshole fucking. I particularly like the picture where the guy has his dick plunged into the bunghole of one of the latex clad babes while at the same time the other is licking his nuts. I’ve had that dream myself for years, but so far nothing has come of it.

From the Ass Parade website:

We made this website because we love girls with big asses and no matter how hard we looked on the web, we couldn’t find any good websites for this. So we went out and made our own! We hit the streets in search of big bubble butts and tight buns of steel. We not only get these girls to get completely naked for you, we also fuck the shit out of them too! We update with a new girl every week so be sure to join us today for the best shit on the internet.

Yup, sounds like a site I might want to check out. Just look at that incredible bubble butt! That chick could ride a horse all day and not get sore. Or shag all night, same difference!

Some parents just don’t get it. Spanking should be confined to the bedroom between two (or more) consenting adults. A 29-year-old woman in West Bend, WI is accused of beating the shit out of her 7-year-old daughter with a wooden spoon when the child ate one of her mother’s doughnuts.

The mother, according to the complaint, “became very upset” and proceeded to spank the girl with the wooden spoon, first on the girl’s buttocks, then on her face. The girl was struck approximately four times in the face, resulting in a black and red, swollen right eye as well as other abrasions. There was also bruising on the girl’s buttocks, according to the complaint.

I say an eye for an eye should apply in this case. Sentence the crazy bitch to be spanked black and blue!

Round And Brown ass babe Angel here has one of the most perfectly shaped set of buttocks I’ve ever seen (and yeah, I have seen a few in my time). And she can do shit with it too; that thing really comes alive when you poke it with a dick. Check out Angel and 100s of other hot and horny brown beauties with big booties over at Round And Brown.

Looks like the guys over at Erotic Spank have got it just right. Just look at that ass turning bright red! No matter what she did (or didn’t do) that bitch is getting exactly what she deserves. Note to self: At least once a week remember to pull wife across knees, yank down pants and knickers and whack her ass for a good five minutes. You know she needs it! (You do, don’t you honey?)